I’ve been asked the following additional questions about Divorce Mediation:

1. Should our attorney be our mediator? Many mediators who administer divorce mediation are attorneys, but it’s not a requirement. The advantage of such an attorney is that it’s more likely they are familiar with the legal requirements of divorce agreements in your state and, if you choose, can also prepare the appropriate court papers in an uncontested case. On the other hand, the disadvantage of working with a mediator who’s an attorney is they may be less comfortable with the interpersonal issues of your conflict and direct you towards a legal conclusion, which may leave some details unresolved. Lastly, if you use a non-attorney Divorce Mediator, you may still have to retain an attorney to prepare and submit your agreement to the court.

2. What happens when we reach an agreement? Typically, the mediator will help put your verbal agreement into a written summary or memorandum, which you’ll be asked to sign. It’s very important you have advisers review the memorandum and settlement agreement. You want to be sure everything is clear, unambiguous, and comprehensive, that is, that it has resolved all your concerns. Your memorandum will be used to prepare the formal settlement agreement filed with the court. If your Divorce Mediator is an attorney, they may agree to prepare the necessary documents that will be submitted.

3. Does mediation work for all couples? No. Some people have circumstances they feel call for the assistance of an adversarial attorney. Consider all of your options to make the best choice to best address your specific needs.

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Fred Jandt is the author of “How to Survive a Mediation,” available now at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and wherever books are sold.

Since my recent posting on Separation Mediation, I’ve been asked for more information.

Typically, one party takes the initiative to introduce the concept of mediation and its advantages. It is advisable to suggest the process, rather than a specific mediator. While mediators are neutral, some might say suggesting one is an attempt to control the process.

Most Divorce Mediation is face-to-face, but in no way is that required. If one party feels intimated by the other, the mediator could conduct the session as a go-between, moving from one participant to the other. The mediation can also be conducted telephonically or online.

Divorce Mediation provides the opportunity to negotiate a settlement on all the issues that must be settled, including financial, social, emotional, and personal ones, such as what to say to co-workers and families.

The information I recommend gathering before the mediation includes:

• Background Information: Birth date and occupation; time living together; length of marriage; and start of living separately.

• Real Estate: Deeds, mortgages, tax information, and home appraisal, if available.

• Tax Returns: Past three years, if possible.

• Vehicles: Registrations, loan information, and Blue Book values.

• Bank and Credit Card Statements: Most recent one or past two years.

• Nonmonetary Accounts: Frequent flyer miles, for example.

• Insurance Policies/Investment Records/Retirement and Pension Funds: Current value.

• Loans: Current amounts due.

• Businesses Owned: Total worth.

• Estate Planning Documents: Wills, trusts, prepaid funeral arrangements.

• Personal Property: Antiques and collectibles.

And don’t forget the pets!

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Fred Jandt is the author of “How to Survive a Mediation,” available now at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and wherever books are sold.