Mary Montague lived in the Catholic district of West Belfast.

She was able to gain trust with conflicting parties and became a go-between for armed groups and the police to reduce the use of violence and persuade conflicting parties to participate in inter-community peace talks. Her unassuming, quiet role contributed to ceasefires and the historic Good Friday Belfast Peace Agreement.

With that experience, Montague co-founded TIDES, a program to train others in Practical Mediation, Conflict Management, and Peacebuilding skills she applied in the Balkans, Kosovo, Afghanistan, Pakistan, and Sudan, as well as training women peace leaders in the Middle East, North Africa, and Asia.

Montague received recognition for her work, including the Mediator of the Year Award from Mediators Beyond Borders International in 2015. She strongly believed peace begins with each of us individually. She said "For the world to change, it starts with… respectful relationships with others… I sow seeds for change that restores right relationships, builds resilient relationships leading to reconciliation."

In 2026 the book “The Go-Between: Memoirs of a Wee Belfast Girl Who Became an International Peacemaker” was published. As stated in the book’s introduction, Mary Montague worked behind the scenes communicating equally with the privileged and powerless to help others achieve their quest for peace.

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Fred Jandt is the author of several books, including his latest, “How To Survive a Mediation.”

My answer to both questions in “Yes,” but with an explanation.

There is a difference between calling one’s self a mediator and offering mediation services and using mediation skills in one’s family and in the workplace.

But in order to officially become a mediator, one should complete a training program. I recommend classes offered by Community Mediation Centers, as these are inexpensive and offer opportunities to volunteer and serve the community. You can search for your nearest location online or visit the National Association for Community Mediation website at www.nafcm.org. Some local courts either offer classes or recommend local training programs. There are also commercial training programs, which can be expensive.

I’ve conducted training programs for mediations for decades. Some who took the class have gone on to professional careers, most became volunteer mediators, but all have reported how the skills they developed during the training helped them both professionally and personally. I did, however, have one person tell me they discovered becoming a mediator wasn’t for them. When asked why, they said, “Because I learned I can’t stop telling people what to do.”

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Fred Jandt is the author of several books, including his latest, “How To Survive a Mediation.”