CONSIDER DIVORCE MEDIATION

In my last article I recommended mediation for couples who are experiencing conflicts in their relationship but regardless, wish to remain together.

In this posting, I’ll make a few observations regarding couples who decide to separate.

Divorce laws vary by state. Before you make any decisions, first review the “Divorce Basics” section for your state on www.divorcenet.com. Also check your state’s local court website for information on divorce laws, forms, and references. If your state offers court sponsored mediation, you should find information there about that as well. In addition, you will want to consult with a divorce attorney who supports “mediation and collaborative divorce” who can explain your state’s laws in more detail.

That said, the basic process across state lines is the same. If you have a legally recognized marriage, one spouse begins the process by filing a complaint or petition requesting the divorce. Typically one or both parties must either appear in court or submit an affidavit or sworn statement assuring the court the marriage is over.

A decision reflecting your agreement is approved as a formal judgment or decree by the court, sometimes in two judgments, first a temporary (or interlocutory) judgment, followed by a final one. If the divorce is contested, it can take months or years before completed and cost thousands of dollars.

If both parties have made the decision to separate and accept the relationship is over, but need help in doing so on their own, mediation is an option to keep the divorce simple and uncontested.

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Fred Jandt is the author of “How to Survive a Mediation,” available now at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and wherever books are sold.