how Do Disputants perceive Mediation?

This past Spring I taught a senior and graduate level class in mediation. After a discussion about how much people knew about the process, the class agreed to interview people who had participated in mediation. The results were interesting:

The students were able to find people who had participated in many contexts for mediation including family (divorce, child custody and visitation), neighbor vs. neighbor disputes in community mediation centers, tenant vs. landlord disputes in Small Claims courts, and on-the-job disputes in the workplace.

Almost all of the mediations ended in agreements. The exceptions were highly charged emotional disputes where one of the parties was not prepared to mediate. One person said, “my husband was not emotionally ready to compromise.  He was too angry.” Another said, “His attorney had not prepared him for mediation. When the mediator told him not to interrupt, he asked his attorney to get another mediator.”

Mediators take great care to be neutral and impartial and yet, what matters is the disputant’s perception of the mediator. One disputant, a young Hispanic woman, described how her mediator was an older man who introduced himself as a businessman. She felt that he would team up with her landlord against her and would not be neutral. That was her perception, which influenced her more than the reality.

Many disputants appreciate the opportunity to be heard: One stated, “I got the chance to tell my side of the story without any interruptions.” Another stated, “It was refreshing to have a neutral person listen to my side. It helped calm me down.”

The most frequently discussed aspect of mediation mentioned in the interviews was the value of the mediators’ summaries. One recalled how the mediator did summaries to make sure everything each party said was correct and understood by everyone. Another said, “The mediator’s summaries were helpful because I was able to hear what was said again and confirm that it was correct. I appreciate it was done throughout the mediation.” My students confirmed how important the mediator’s summaries are to the process. One of my students said, “You can say something, but when someone says it back to you, you can really hear how the other party hears it.”

The positive conclusions from the process included “extremely less expensive” and “the issues were resolved.” One response was typical, “It was conversational, inexpensive and we came up with a workable solution.”  

What did my students learn from the experience? They learned that neutrality, listening and summaries are keys to successful mediation. And that those same skills are critical when any of us attempt to help others who are in conflict.