At some point, most people will have to deal with aging parents and matters, such as living arrangements, health care, finances, driving, end-of-life decisions, and all the other issues typically addressed.

Those discussions can be difficult and mediation can help.

What today is called Elder Mediation involves family members and deals with concerns related to the well-being of the older person. The process can be initiated by any individual associated with the family, often at the suggestion of an attorney, caregiver, physician or hospital staff. The mediators will typically be family ones with training in aging with appropriate listening and language skills.

The mediator will ask the parties to identify the topics they wish to discuss. The mediator will then guide the conversation to reach agreements that promote the wishes, well-being, and quality of life of the senior, while supporting the family through these emotional times.

If mediation is not utilized, subjects may remain unresolved and result in significant conflicts in the future, destroying relationships. The best evidence that Elder Mediation works is the anecdotal evidence that all family members typically report the mediation gave them a greater peace of mind and improved family dynamics.

———————————————————————————————————————-

Fred Jandt is the author of “How to Survive a Mediation,” available at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and wherever books are sold.

In conflict situations mediators often deal with power discrepancies, that is, one party, for whatever reason, is perceived to have greater power than the other. So much so, it’s not unusual for one party with less means to say, “they simply don’t understand me.” In fact, that observation is often true.

Research has consistently shown more powerful persons have less empathy. It’s not only that the more powerful focus on their own goals and feel less dependent on others, but being in such a position can actually change how the brain processes social information. And comparisons of powerful individuals to those less influential suggests the mindset of those in a dominant positiion makes them less emotionally responsive to others.

Even business publications have observed that people who have been promoted in their jobs can begin to feel more powerful and lose empathy with subordinates. Such traits are also associated with politicians after they’ve assumed office.

Mediators have several tools to encourage empathy when faced with this type of disparity between participants. A simple tactic I use is to ask questions, such as, “if you have been the victim in this situation, what would you have felt? What would you have done?”

———————————————————————————————————————————-

Fred is the author of “How to Survivve a Mediation” available at Amazon and Barnes and Noble.