Some individuals attempt hardball negotiating tactics during mediation, but they can easily be deflected.

Five common ones are:

• Boulwarism – Boulwarism is to present a best and final offer as in, “take it or leave it.” If the offer is better than your alternative, take it. If not, offer to negotiate or be ready to accept no agreement.

• Extreme Demands (Highball/Lowball Offers) – An extreme demand is one that you know is out of line. If you accept it as reasonable, you’ve allowed the party to establish that as the legitimate beginning point. You can counter with your own extreme demand, but a better approach is simply not to accept the demand as reasonable. Instead, you can say, “You know that’s an extreme demand. I can’t negotiate with you based on that. Come back with something that will work for both of us.”

• Emotional Intimidation – Some parties will fake emotions of anger or guilt. Don’t feel pressured by emotional display. Suggest a recess and then restate the issues and ask them to explain their concerns.

• Snow Job – A snow job is an attempt to overwhelm you with talk and information to create an advantage. The best response is to ignore much of the “snow” by providing a summary of their major points that you feel comfortable responding to.

• Deadline Pressure – Sometimes one party attempts to impose a real or fictional deadline to force an agreement. Never accept a deadline until you know it is real. (Think of ads that say, “sale positively ends Friday,” but only to see the same price next month.) Compare their offer to your alternative. Remember, you can postpone the negotiation until another time.

I discuss these and other negotiation tactics in my new book “Negotiation and Mediation,” available now.

Couples can experience conflicts over a long list of issues, including job or school commitments, past relationships, personal habits, behaviors, affection and sex - And those are just some of the issues that can arise when living together.

I’ve had couples ask me if mediation can help. I first ask them if the issue is, “This relationship must end,” or, “This relationship must change?” If the answer is the latter, I suggest counseling or mediation.

But which? Marriage counseling or couples therapy employs psychotherapy to help with relationship dysfunction and establish new behavior patterns to repair a relationship. Therapy is an extended process that tends to go into the history of the relationship.

In contrast, mediation helps couples deal with specific issues in their relationship in one or a few sessions. Mediators do not focus on the past, but focus on the future. The goal of couple relationship mediation is to help the parties define problems, discuss workable options, and make decisions.

Mediators who specialize in relationship mediation will most likely identify themselves as marital or family mediators. They may have backgrounds as social workers, marriage family counselors, psychologists, attorneys, clergy, or other professionals. They had specialized training in mediation and may have additional training in interpersonal relations, relationship dynamics, domestic violence, and substance abuse.

Whatever their background, relationship mediators are non-judgmental and non-confrontational, maintain confidentiality, and will impose a decision on the parties.