Parents understand how conflicts over curfews, homework, and household duties comes with their teen’s developing capability, maturity and changing relationship with them as time goes by.

Some estimates, though, are that in some 20% of families the conflicts are intense, prolonged, and unhealthy. When severe, such conflicts can result in truancy, leaving home, and involvement with self-destructive behaviors that can threaten the entire family.

Compared to family counseling where adolescents can be in extended therapy for any number of reasons, such as anxiety and depression, school and social stress, exploring identity, and adjusting to life changes, parent-teen mediation is short term and focused on dealing with current specific issues.

What makes parent-teen mediation different from other forms is the empowerment it affords teens by acknowledging their need for greater autonomy in a way that’s acceptable to them and their parents.

Some parent-teen mediation programs provide co-mediator, which consists of an experienced adult and a trained teenager. The obvious advantage of this approach can serve to allay the teenage participant’s perception that the adults are “running the show.” At times the teenage mediator can act as an “interpreter” of the adolescent’s language and perspective.

Evidence suggests the majority of parents and adolescents in mediation report a positive change in their relationship and would recommend this unique process to others.

A parent who received a letter requesting permission for their child to participate in peer mediation at school asked be if they should refuse or encourage it.

Most likely the child was referred to peer mediation because of a conflict with another student. Peer Mediation has been used for a wide range of such conflicts in schools, including minor physical aggression (hitting, kicking, scratching, and pushing), verbal aggression (teasing, name calling, insults, and threats), rumors and gossip, and minor property damage or loss. Most professionals do not recommend Peer Mediation be used for bullying.

In Peer Mediation, students who received training act as neutral parties to help other students resolve conflicts. Except for the training and ongoing administrative support, the mediation is entirely carried on by students for students.

Disputes referred to Peer Mediation are first reviewed by the school coordinator to determine if the conflict is appropriate and to confirm the students are willing to participate.

Studies show results in written agreements from 60% to 90%. Regardless, the mediation itself gave the students an opportunity to express themselves and be heard in a calm, safe, and non-threatening environment. Studies also have documented reduced teacher and administrator time spent on discipline, reduced violence and crime in the school, as well as reduced suspensions, increased self-esteem and academic achievement of the student mediators.

I recommended participation.