It seems that almost any conflict can get out of hand.

In El Paso County, Colorado, a simple disagreement over ownership of a strip of land used as a road has garnered national attention as the conflict escalated.

The disagreement between adjoining property owners Teresa Clark and ranchers Courtney and Nicole Mallery has grown to more than 20 dueling restraining orders, accusations of racism, several arrests, and charges of biased policing against the El Paso County Sheriff’s Office. Over a two-year period the Sheriff’s Office has investigated more than 170 calls regarding the dispute.

The ranchers Courtney and Nicole Mallery allege that Clark has made online threats, poisoned their animals, and disabled their security system. Clark alleged that the Mallerys stalked and threatened her making her afraid for her life. The Mallerys were arrested for felony charges of stalking Clark who was arrested as well for violating a restraining order requiring her to stay at least 100 yards from the Mallerys’ property.

As the disagreement grew, charges of racism were made by the Mallarys, a Black ranching family, claiming they were not being allowed to work their land in peace in a predominantly white community. Addiitonally, they labeled one of the Sheriff’s deputies as Clark’s “personal policeman.” These charges motivated a march to the state capitol building advocating for legislation to make it a crime to file fraudulent, racially motivated police complaints. In response to allegations of racially biased policing, the Sheriff’s Office released 96 body cam videos containing 38 hours of footage.

This all started as a simple dispute over a roadway easement and when disagreements like this escalate, parties tend to gravitate towards aggressive and violent tactics and view one another as evil. Others can be drawn into the situation as well and objectives evolve from resolution to revenge and even violence.

Can mediation be used in escalated conflicts? Yes, but it is difficult. That is why I and others advocate “Preventive Mediation,” that is, encouraging parties to enter into mediation before things get out of hand.

In El Paso County, the parties eventually agreed to try mediation. If the parties don’t reach an agreement, their criminal trials will proceed later this year.

Recently, I was asked if animals have any rights during mediation.

Because the laws are slowly changing, I can share one example where the disputants were able to consider the rights of the animal(s) in question.

A young couple who had no children decided they wanted to separate. They consulted with an attorney who recommended they first meet with a mediator to decide on the division of assets and liabilities. Their assets were modest and their liabilities exceeded their liquid assets, which required they agree on the details of selling their home.

The next few months were difficult for the couple. The wife was on a fast track for advancement at her job and felt her husband was holding her back socially and emotionally. The husband, who held strong moral beliefs, was convinced his wife was having affairs with colleagues.

After working through this negative period, they agreed to a separation. Although the dividing of assets and liabilities was addressed, the issue of their two dogs remained.

It was easy to decide each would get one dog since the pets were part of their lives and been a source of comfort during their last few stressful months.  But then, the husband asked if it was fair to the dogs to separate them as the two had grown up together.

 Just as separating parents with children face issues of custody and visitation, separating couples with animals face similar issues. Both shared their view that the dogs had rights, including to continue their relationship with each other. The couple discussed sharing custody of both dogs exchanging residences weekly. Ultimately, they agreed each would have custody of one of the dogs, but they would arrange their schedules so the pets could run and play with one another at least three times a week. They further agreed if either of them became unable to continue ownership, their dog would be reunited with the other.

 While U.S. law may not yet fully recognize the rights of animals, people in disputes can individually best deal with how pets should be treated through mediation as this separating couple did.