Recently, I advanced the concept of Preventive Mediation, that is, a form of mediation dealing with the “what if’s” that might occur, providing parties the opportunity to deal with issues thoughtfully before becoming stressed and emotionally involved in an actual conflict.

Three more examples many of us will face are long term care, life estate planning, and business succession. In my opinion, each would be easier to address in the future by applying Preventive Mediation beforehand.

1.) Long Term Care: In general, elder mediation is a voluntary process in which a mediator works with parties to discuss potential disputes involving older adults, their family members, or others they know with age related issues. Unfortunately, most put off dealing with the needs of elderly family members until there is a crisis, such as a major illness or ones inability to handle finances. When such moments occur, familes may find themselves in unpleasant conversations at a time when they need to be a functioning unit. With Preventive Mediation, everyone involved can work with a professional to discuss situations that might arrise, such as, “if one becomes unable to drive, what do we do?,” or “if paying bills becomes a challenge, how should that be handled?,” and “If long term care becomes necessary, what could we all agree on?” In these sessions, the elder family member participates and feels part of the process that might directly effect them. And since there is no urgent rush, decisions can be made with less pressure for an immediate decision.

2.) Estate Planning: Unfortunately, some discover that a family member’s estate planning is out-of-date or was never done. In other situations, a family member may have made plans without ever sharing information with effected relatives. All too often these situations result in conflict and sometimes litigation. Preventive Mediation provides the opportunity to know about such important plans in advance.

3.) Business Succession: Many families operate companies ranging from major businesses to weekend projects to earn extra money. Unfortunately, most families neglect to consider what would happen if there are changes, such as divorces, marriages, and major medical issues. Without pre-planning, these situations can threaten the business and strain relations within the family. Preventive Mediation offers the opportunity to deal with these “what if’s” without destoying the foundation of the business everyone worked so hard to build.

No one knows the future, but Preventive Mediation can greatly reduce the various challenges many of us will face if the milestones of our lives are ignored until the final hour.

Last week I introduced the concept of Preventive Mediation, that is, mediation to deal with the “what if’s” that can be the precursors of disputes. This approach brings issues to the table before parties become stressed and emotionally involved in a conflict.

 Here’s an example:

 A mediation involved two neighbors. One, who we’ll identify as “Fred,” had owned his home for more than twenty years and the other, who we’ll identify as “Yosei” had recently moved in. Their homes were on an incline with Yosei’s house above Fred’s. For as long as Fred lived in his home, there’s been one shared brick fence in the back yard. The front of the yard was grass with no boundary markings. For years each neighbor mowed their property without any issues.

 One year during an unusually heavy rain, water had flowed from Yosei’s back yard into Fred’s house, resulting in some leakage to his home. Fred decided to install a water barrier and had no further problems.

 But then one day Fred saw contractors in Yosei’s backyard. They were filling in the pool, removing the turf, and planning to cover the entire backyard with concrete. Fred was convinced this change to Yosei’s backyard would cause all rain water to drain directly into his yard and likely into his house.

Let’s look at possible outcomes:

It’s safe to say that eventually a heavy rain would cause damage to Fred’s home and before that occurs, he could ask Yosei to take steps to prevent it from happening. If Yosei refused, and a severe rain did cause damage to Fred’s home, he could sue Yosei for damages. Legal action would be expensive and negatively impact their relationship as neighbors.

Instead, Fred asked for Preventive Mediation. Because nothing happened yet, neither party was aggressive or defensive and willing to engage in the process to deal with the “what if” before the next heavy rain comes.

 With their mediator, the parties agreed that Fred could build and own a retaining wall on the edge of Yosei’s property to divert water to the street. Yosei also agreed to support a city permit so it would be done properly.

And as it would happen, within a few months after the wall was built, a heavy rain hit the area. But no damage occured because their Preventive Mediation session provided an effective solution.