In previous posts I’ve discussed reasons why people decline the option to mediate. But there are many more reasons why people should choose mediation whevever possible, and here’s why:

Many years ago I was asked by a magazine reporter why I became a mediator. I remember my immediate response was that mediation levels the playing field. That comment was accompanied with a whimsical photo of me with a rake in hand. Even now, I still contend one major advantage of mediation is the process makes it possible for parties to work together without the obvious threat of power. Mediators are conscious to one party’s attempt to intimidate the other and will work to remove that from the equation. If that’s not possible, the mediator may stop the precedings if an agreement isn’t equitable, is unlikely to be fulfilled, and believes it will exacerbate an already strained relationship.

Also, mediation has communication rules. Parties who may have been disrespectful and threatening to one another must adhere to the mediator’s rules of behavior. Of course the amount of rules outlined will vary by the mediator’s perception of the situation. For most sessions, the mediator will likely expect a level of professional conduct from all participants. For others, the mediator might review language and nonverbal behaviors that won’t be permitted. Again, if the parties refuse to adhere to the rules, the mediation will be terminated.

And lastly, before most mediations the parties agree to confidentiality, which the mediator is also bound by, except as provided by law or if the parties waive confidentiality. Such agreements reduce the risk of sensitive information or comments made during sessions from becoming public and result in more open and honest discussions.

Mediation is a very special form of dispute resolution. Many participants in mediation trainings tell me they wish they’d known about the option before taking the course.

As I’m about to start a new class for mediators, I’m always curious as to why people want to learn this skill. 

I took the time to review several sets of applications and from that limited sample noticed some trends. 

Attorneys taking the course who did not have such training during law school, generally take it to add mediation to their practice. 

By comparison, non-attorneys have a broad range of reasons:

• Many work for a public service agency and have some idea of what mediation is and feel having these skills would help them better serve their clients’ needs. 

• Some work at various businesses, and while they are less likely to have an understanding of what mediation is, they’re motivated to learn dispute resolution skills that can be applied within their company. 

• A small number are taking the class as the first step in seeking employment or a career in some aspect of dispute resolution. 

• And several are looking for volunteer opportunities. Many will volunteer in Small Claims Court mediation programs to serve their communities. I remember a retired police detective in his third year as a volunteer told me he would pay for the opportunity to do so. He felt as a mediator he was doing more for his community than he had for years on the force. And, as he said, “You can only play so much golf.” 

I also reviewed the end of class evaluations to see if people felt they had met their objectives. One told me he loved the class but realized he could never be a mediator “because I can’t stop telling people what to do.” 

Almost all commented on how they immediately applied mediation skills to their family disputes and for that alone the class was a positive experience.