I just completed another training program for people interested in learning mediation skills. I’ve always been interested in the reasons non-attorneys give for enrolling in the training.

 The following are reasons given by those participants in the class:

“I thought the training would expand my skills in my current job.”

“To improve my conflict resolution skills to work better with co-workers and clients.”

“To improve my listening skills.”

“To work better with the people in my church and with my store customers.”

“To see if I’d like to do this as a career.”

“To find out if this is a way I could give back to my community.”

“To learn new strategies in conflict resolution in order to better serve parents and students.”

 Typically, people give two major reasons:

1.) To improve their skills in the workplace.
2.) To determine if mediation is a way they could be of service to their communities.

 Interestingly, post training evaluation reveals an unanticipated outcome for most participants:
“I find I’m using mediation skills with my family every day now.”

 I frequently tell classes that in some ways learning mediation skills is like learning first aid. Just as I wish more people learn first aid, I wish more and more people learn mediation skills.

I believe we would all benefit.

Emotions are an unavoidable part of negotiation and mediation.

Emotions should not be ignored as they can adversely impact the process. Generally, during training, mediators are encouraged to accept a person’s right to be angry and allow them to vent their feelings, including taking short breaks. Further, mediators are encouraged to shift the focus of anger from individuals to the problem or issue at hand.

 Many things can result in anger during negotiations and mediations. Misrepresentations, excessive demands, time constraints, and any number of other triggers can elicit fury. And it’s important to remember that participants in a negotiation or a mediation can be faking their displeasure to elicit a response.

 Anger can clearly influence the negotiation process. Researchers have demonstrated that exasperated opponents convey their limits are very high and in response the other parties give the that party more concessions and make fewer demands of their own.

 Some believe displaying anger will result in gaining value from the other participant. In fact, if a negotiator’s anger is perceived as genuine that negotiator might indeed benefit. However, it’s a risk. Intentionally faking anger might be met with real ire from the other party. And if the other party does not believe the emotion is real, trust and cooperation could be lost.

 Another study involved more general positive and negative emotions. The expression of positive emotions is more likely to result in concessions from the other party and more likely to successfully reach an agreement. The expression of negative emotions results in more extreme demands. If a negotiator is considering intentionally displaying emotions, there appears to be little negative consequences and more beneficial outcomes for expressing positive ones.

It might be said “putting on a show of anger is risky, but nothing is lost by being friendly.”