This week I started a new mediation class. I first explained how COVID-19 has changed the way its practiced: Courts and mediation centers are doing less face-to-face sessions and more by telephone or Zoom. The class itself was virtual with the possibility, if conditions permitted, of additional face-to-face role plays and observations.

Given such changes I was curious as to why these people were willing to devote a minimum of eight evenings to the classroom portion of the training. There is a fee for the class, but the fee is returned if the person completes a set number of volunteer hours. Admittedly, this is only a sample of one class in Southern California.

The entire class was women. Over some 20 years of conducting mediation training classes there have always been more women than men participants. I notice the same in LinkedIn descriptions. There are many more women than men who identify an interest in mediation.

The goals people in this class identified were:

-        Practicing attorneys and legal assistants who did not have the opportunity to study mediation in the classes and wanted to add that skill set.

-        People who worked in governmental and community settings who saw mediation as needed in interactions with the public.

-        People from a variety of backgrounds who expressed a motivation to use mediation in community settings for public benefit.

-        People in business and real estate settings who believed mediation could help them deal with business disputes.

The goals of this class echo the legislative purpose of the California Dispute Resolution Programs Act of 1986. “Increased use of … alternatives to the formal judicial system… offer less threatening and more flexible forums for persons of all ethnic, racial, and socioeconomic backgrounds” and “provide a valuable prevention and early intervention problem-solving resource to the community” particularly in “disputes in which the parties have continuing relationships.”

When I explain the overwhelming majority of mediators are unpaid volunteers I use the comparison to CPR and heart doctors. I’m really glad there are many people are trained to use CPR  but just as glad their service in the community in no way lessens the importance of specialized heart doctors. Volunteer mediators are the CPR providers to the community. The more people learn mediation skills, the better our communities will be for it.

Some have observed that one unfortunate outcome of Covid-19 has been confrontations between service workers and customers over mask wearing, vaccination proof and any number of other complaints. One survey revealed that an amazing 80% of workers reported experiencing hostile behavior from customers over safety protocols alone.

These confrontations are just symptomatic of the modern era’s focus on a customer culture. Amazon, for example, is noted for its “customer obsession,” which some argue comes at the expense of its own workers. In our customer focused culture, some customers have come to believe that getting anything they want, when they want it, and how they want it, should be the standard no matter the circumstances.

Is the truism, “The customer is always right,” to blame?

Several years ago I wrote the book “The Customer is Usually Wrong!” where I looked into the origin of that guideline. I believe it originated with H. Gordon Selfridge. Born during the mid-1800s in Wisconsin, Selfridge had been a Marshall Field junior partner. He retired to London and established Selfridge & Co., Ltd., the famous palatial department store on Oxford Street. People in his clerical pool at that time were perhaps not the most educated nor sophisticated, so Selfridge created a simple, easy to remember guideline for employees to implement.  Of course, Selfridge wanted his elite customers to be satisfied, become repeat customers and tell others about the good service they received.

Businesses today have the same objective Selfridge did, but there is a major difference. Today’s workers are educated and knowledgeable by comparison.

What does this have to do with conflict management and mediation? It has long been my belief that employees can use mediation skills to deal with unsatisfied customers so that issues are dealt with successfully and at minimal or no cost to the business. Empowering employees to use such skills results in better outcomes for both the customer and business than blindly following the truism “the customer is always right” ever does.

Even the simple mediation skills of determining the customer’s underlying need to be heard will work wonders. A customer may loudly and forcefully demand something, which may be impossible or costly to provide. If an employee follows “the customer is always right” the business has experienced an unnecessary cost. But if that employee can determine what is motivating that demand with a few simple questions, then they may be able to meet that need in other ways. The result: The customer’s need is met and feels satisfied while the business saved money and retained goodwill in the process.

When I say “the customer is usually wrong,” I mean at times what a customer is demanding may not be the underlying issue. Employees can be empowered to deal with the underlying concern and if successful, everyone benefits.

Years ago the president of a successful cruise line told me a story that illustrates the point. A couple had booked a cabin and discovered it was not what they thought they had reserved. In front of other passengers, they loudly demanded an upgrade. But the ship was completely full and their booking record was actually what they paid for.  Using “the customer is always right” guideline, the cruise representative may have offered them a voucher for a future trip costing the company revenue. And regardless of such a gesture, the passengers might have still been unhappy.

Instead, to avoid causing embarrassment by pointing out the customers mistake, the cruise employee suggested the cabin pictures in their brochure may haver been misleading. He went on to explain that most passengers spend very little time in their cabins regardless of the type of room. He then granted the dissatisfied passengers “special VIP status.” However, the cruise line president admitted to me that there was no such thing as “special VIP status” but his colleague was empowered to arrange an “insiders” tour of the ship and free drinks, all at a cost of less than $20. In response, the couple continued to book trips with their cruise line, all because they felt their needs were recognized, which made them feel special.