A student in one of my mediation classes once did an informal survey of the public’s familiarity with mediation and where they got help with conflicts.  Many of the people she asked in lines of grocery stores and other public places did not have a clear idea of what mediation is. Some had experience with family court mediation for child custody and visitation, but had no experience beyond that. And there were those who said something like, “it’s where you close your eyes and clear your mind.”

Where then do these people go for help with conflicts and are those sources really helpful? Many said they didn’t seek out help until the conflict escalated and required law enforcement and attorneys to be involved.

Increasingly, more and more people are learning about mediation and are seeking help at dispute resolution centers. A recent article in the Detroit News profiled The Resolution Center in Mount Clemens, Michigan. In 2017, that center alone handled 3,100 cases. Interestingly, the number of those that were referrals from the courts had declined while the number of people coming directly to the center had increased. People bring a wide variety of disputes to the center from Small Claims, school-based and family matters, such as siblings disputing guardianship of a parent.

Most dispute resolution centers in the U.S., like those in Michigan, are staffed by volunteers and are free or low cost. Most disputes are resolved in one session. But when the opposite occurs, mediators don’t consider an unresolved dispute a failure as the parties involved in the process develop a better understanding of their interests, which can lead to a resolution in the near future.

So, where do you find such help? First go online for community dispute resolution centers which are usually pretty affordable. There are also mediators who work independently but charge a fee for their service. Some of these are listed on the website mediate.com. That website also has resource material on mediation that can be helpful.

I recently completed another training program for individuals who desire to be volunteer mediators in Small Claims Court, during which I spent some time discussing the benefits of mediation on organizations and communities.

As we ended the class, one person took that discussion a step further to comment that she felt the course had already impacted her daily work and family life. Several in the class shared the same feeling, so I presented some recent published research from "Conflict Resolution Quarterly."

There have been many studies that demonstrate how middle and high school students trained to be peer mediators in schools develop improved communication skills, increased empathy, enhanced self-esteem and improved academic performance.   

Susan Raines interviewed adult mediators in various settings and found that they all believed their work has changed them in important and positive ways. There was general agreement that through being a mediator they had developed an increased awareness of the needs and perspectives of others and had developed broadened and creative thinking skills. And they all agreed through learning and practicing mediation skills, they were more willing to address and deal with conflict.

Overall they reported improvement in their family relationships, communication skills and ability to develop better understanding of others. As one mediator said, "I am a better listener and more open to other's viewpoints. I am better able to ask questions that do not challenge or judge which keeps the conversation on-going."

Beyond benefits to the individuals themselves who develop such skills, the more people trained in mediation also benefits our organizations and communities.  In a recent workplace study, 7 out of 10 employees saw managing conflict as either a “very” or “critically” important management skill and 6 out of 10 said they believe everyone in the organization must do their part in managing conflicts.

I often tell my classes when they discuss the value of making mediation training available to more people that for me mediation is like CPR. The more people in our communities who know CPR, the better we are all for it. In a like manner, the more people who have learned mediation skills of empathy and creative problem solving and who are willing to make themselves available to assist people in conflict benefit us all.