“IT’S THE PRINCIPLE OF THE THING”

“It’s not the money, it’s the principle of the thing,” has probably ended more mediations than any other phrase and is often given as the excuse for refusing to negotiate or even consider reasonable offers.

Some may use that position to simply disrupt a mediation, but others use principles to guide their views as to what is right and wrong. Principles can be tied to a dollar value, but perhaps in a way that is not obvious.

For example, a person who receives a meal while dining out feels one dish isn’t prepared as it was ordered. The patron might create quite a stir, calling over the manager, speaking loudly about the faulty food preparation. Asked why they choose to cause such an issue over a minor mistake, the answer is typically, “It’s the principle of the thing.” Some refer to this as the “Law of Disproportionate Response,” whether it be enraged over a scratch to their car or suing for a small amount of money, even if the financial outcome would be less than the cost of time, lawyer fees and more. They’d still feel vindicated because of principle.

Ironically, this position is usually taken when the dollar amount awarded is not that significant. When there is a great deal of money involved, I’ve rarely heard that phrase uttered. This does suggest that principles may well have a value cutoff.

How then do mediators deal with such disputants? The first step is to help the party distinguish between principles that are less negotiable than others. For example, security is not an easily negotiable item, while parking spaces are. Then for those more negotiable principles, the question becomes one of “pouring good money after bad.” With some parties I have asked “Just how much is the principle worth to you?” As people struggle with their answer they typically come to conclude that causing a scene in a restaurant isn’t worth overcooked potatoes.

Mediators typically heard this phrase by people who would rather take the dispute to court than negotiate. It helps to consider the possible outcomes - "you may win or lose, but either way you’ll end up spending a lot of money and wasting a great deal of time. Is that worth it in the end?” When encouraged to cost out the value, most people will do as former U.K. Prime Minister Stanley Baldwin said, “I would rather be an opportunist and float than go the bottom with my principles round my neck.”