ARE THERE SOME CONFLICTS THAT CAN’T BE RESOLVED?
When people ask me if there are conflicts that just can’t be resolved, they are usually thinking about such disagreements through the lens of good vs. evil, right vs. wrong and moral vs. immoral.
What we hold values about, though, do vary in their importance to us. For example, religious values are held to be more important than beliefs about day-to-day interactions, such as expectations for being on time for meetings.
Conflicts over these more important values can generate more extreme language including:
The use of words that express strong feelings and judgments.
Predictions of dire consequences if a change or solution is pursued.
Use of sources, which one party believes are unquestionable to try to convince the other.
Negative characterization about the views, values or capabilities of the opposing parties.
Some approaches that have been successfully employed to deal with these conflicts are:
Address peripheral conflicts first. It is possible that reaching some accommodation on peripheral issues help to lower tensions and hostilities and lay a foundation for future attempts at dealing with the value-based conflict.
Work to change the relationship between the parties from one of head-to-head adversaries by limiting their interactions with one another and creating forums where positive interactions are more likely to occur. For example, rather than permit adversaries to debate one another, have them co-present their positions to a neutral party, such as community forums or educational settings. Not permitted to engage in argument and being forced to hear each other’s positions has the potential to begin to change the parties’ relationship.
Work to identify superordinate values. Just as superordinate goals require competing groups to cooperation, it is possible that in value conflict there may be superordinate values, that is, values the competing groups may share and that bridge their differences.
Finally, recognize and accept that all things have a time. Value based organizational conflicts, which may not be resolved at the present, might be seen differently in the future as conditions change.
Cultures do vary as to their acceptance that such conflicts must be immediately resolved and recognize that conflict is a process that evolves over time.