MEDIATION CONSUMER “TIPS”
From time to time I get calls from friends and acquaintances asking me to mediate a dispute for them. My rule is not to mediate with friends. For starters, there is a potential conflict of interest simply because of an ongoing relationship that might disadvantage the other party in the dispute. The second concern is that the friend might assume that I would continue to be available to help them and enforce their agreement. When I explain that I can’t be their mediator, they usually share that they’ve looked online and found a wide range of mediators, attorneys and mediation organizations offering their services and ask me for recommendations.
I am more than happy to do that, but I also give them tips to become a better informed mediation consumer and I’d like to share some of those tips here:
As a potential consumer of mediation services you should learn more about the background of the mediator. But what I suggest you ask is, “How many mediations have you done?,” and then ask for some kind of validation of their answer. Experience makes a difference. I would advise going with an seasoned mediator.
2. Follow question #1 with how many mediations of your type of dispute they’ve conducted and how comfortable they are dealing with it. For example, most mediators are able to handle real estate sessions, but one who has done many relating to that field will simply be more familiar with the terminology.
3. If the mediator tells you they have a high settlement rate, I would actually be a bit concerned. Remember, mediation is about the disputants making their own decisions and sometimes that means choosing not to settle. A mediator who is primarily concerned about settlement rate might pressure disputants to settle even if they don’t want to.
4. Equally important is to ask what style of mediation they use. As the disputant you have a right to determine the style of mediation you prefer. If the mediator says “transformative style,” they will encourage you in the session to focus on the relationship between the disputants. If the mediator says “evaluative style,” they will be actively involved in evaluating and suggesting solutions. If the mediator says “facilitative style,” they will be assisting the parties to work out their own solutions.
5. Finally, ask about cost. Mediation services range from free to several thousand dollars. Free and low cost mediation as offered by community mediation services can be as effective as the more expensive option. Cost should not be the determining factor. Go with whatever feels right to you.