MORE ABOUT LYING AND CONFLICT

Psychological studies have shown that about half of negotiators lie when they have a motive and opportunity to do so. With this in mind, it's risky to assume one can tell when a negotiator is lying since most studies demonstrate the success rate at detecting lies is about the same as a 50-50 coin toss. 

As a mediator, I accept the fact that people in conflict don't always tell the truth and that I can’t determine if they are or not. Knowing this, I encourage parties to acknowledge they disagree and then focus on the future. For example, consider a business owner and a former employee in conflict over whether the employee violated a non-compete clause after leaving the company. The employer claimed to have evidence to prove the agreement not to compete was breached. The former employee claimed to have evidence this was not the case. And I had no way to determine if the parties were being completely truthful, nor was that part of my role as mediator.

I would say it appeared both parties were making statements beyond what evidence they had. They seemed to both be “overstating” their claims. They could engage in extended litigation that would cost them lost clients and revenue. Or they could negotiate a new, more precise, agreement to not compete.

After agreeing their existing agreement was, at best, ambiguous, they chose to negotiate a new agreement and the issue as to who was being “truthful” became a non-starter.