HUMOR AND MEDIATION
No doubt disagreements and conflicts are serious business. But does that mean participants in mediation expect their mediators to always be somber and no-nonsense?
Most successful mediators know how and when to use humor. For example, a distinguished and colorful one who works for the Federal Mediation and Conciliation Service is Bill Usery, whose mediations are legendary. His achievements include the first collective bargaining agreement among seven unions in the newly created, semi-autonomous U.S. Postal Service; the National Football League pre-season strike; and the thirteen-month walkout of mine workers in Harlan County, Kentucky.
When an exhaustive session between railroad workers and management deadlocked with both parties refusing to talk any further, Usery left the room to get a cigar. He returned wearing a button that read “We Try Harder,” a well-known slogan by Avis, the car rental company. Everyone appreciated the visual, laughed, and eventually reached a settlement. Usery’s hunch that humor would ease tensions was spot on.
Recently, several community mediators used another popular ad, “What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.” It was reported one of the participants during a mediation couldn’t grasp the concept of confidentiality, which created much frustration. The mediator in charge looked at this person and with a smile said, “You’ve heard ‘What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas,’ well what happens in mediation stays in the mediation.” Everyone laughed, the particpant understood, and the session went forward.
Recently, Jim Melamed, co-founder of Mediate.com, posted a list of “Mediation Mugs” available on Amazon.com, suggesting having one at the mediation table might provide some comic relief.
Some of my favorites are:
“Don’t make me use my mediator voice.”
“Only the strong become mediators.”
“This is what an awesome mediator looks like.”
“I am a mom and a mediator. Nothing scares me.”
All this to say, a smile and laugh, when appropriate, can help conflicting parties work together.