SHOULD I TWEET, TEXT OR ZOOM MY CONFLICT?

I was surprised to recently read a Pew Research Center report from 2014 reporting that 9% of married individuals or in committed relationships have resolved an argument with their partner either online or by text message as an alternative because they were having difficulty resolving their conflict in person. 

This seems to contradict several “self-help” books, which generally suggest that using social media to resolve conflicts is harmful to interpersonal relationships. For example, one author suggests that Twitter users in particular don’t expect a response to their tweets, so when they put private communications on Twitter they are really venting by using the platform as “a megaphone.”

The Pew Research Center report concluded, though, that technology can add to shared emotional intimacy. They found that 21% of internet users or cell phone owners felt closer to their partner because of online or text exchanges. In fact, about 25% texted their partner while both were home together. 

What does this tell us about using cell phones and Zoom for mediation and dispute resolution? In the early years of online mediation critics were concerned that such sessions provided less important nonverbal cues than face-to-face interactions. Others were concerned that it was easier for participants to deceive the other party. However, it’s become clear these issues do not seem to deter mediators from using technology successfully for mediation. 

One possible difference was suggested by research that demonstrated participants in online mediation preferred the mediator to be more directive. Perhaps in the online mediation the participants were less tolerant of distractions that took away from the issues at hand.

Nonetheless, today’s social distancing requirements have increased the number of online mediations and preliminary evidence suggests that it’s been working quite well.