WHY I DISCOURAGE "TRANSACTIONAL RELATIONSHIPS"

Every mediator helps parties negotiate personal affiliations, which some approach as Collaborative Relationships and others as Transactional.

Transactional relationships are based on “give and take” exchanges where parties constantly evaluate the association in light of their own immediate priorities. The relationship, then, is conditional. As parties are constantly “keeping score,” there is a lack of trust, mutual support, as well as the potential for bad feelings and resentment, especially when one party abandons that connection for something better.

Advocates of Transactional Relationships contend human interactions by their very nature are transactional and that long-term, mutually beneficial relationships are simply an idealization of family ones.

Long-term mutually beneficial relationships are not a rarity, as these advocates would have you believe. Collaborative Relationships value strong ties and are willing to invest the time and energy to work cooperatively.

Transactional advocates have no meaningful, long-term relationships, and as anyone in their network knows, they will be abandoned when they no longer support the goals of the true matter at hand.

—————————————————————————————————————————————————-

Fred Jandt is the author of “How to Survive a Mediation,” available now at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and wherever books are sold.