WE NEVER ARGUE - ISN’T THAT GOOD?

I’m asked why it’s said that conflict in relationships is a good thing. I have found the people who usually ask that question also claim they never argue.

The answer, however, is not so simple, as it depends on the relationship.

Volatile relationships are emotionally expressive. There’s disagreements and arguments, but tend to be even more expressive when reconciling with affection and confirmation. In these relationships, conflict is positive as it communicates the partner’s investment in, and concern for, the relationship.

Validating relationships are mindful of the timing of conflict and only bring up issues when important and work together for mutually agreeable solutions.

Conflict avoiding relationships use compromise and agree to disagree to find ways to minimize clashes.

Hostile relationships use personal attacks and experience frequent negative interactions that are severe in intensity.

Conflict comes with relationships we care about. It’s really about, then, how we handle strife.