My Difficult Mediations

I’m been asked about “difficult” mediations. Confidentiality prevents me from describing a specific mediation, which could in some way be related to the actual participants, so I can only describe one in general terms.

A couple with three young children rented a home next to a retired couple In an established neighborhood with longterm residents . Shortly after the couple had occupied the home their children were soon playing in the backyard. As children will, they were running and playing and making what some would consider loud noises. Their neighbors dog became excited and tried to squeeze through the fence separating the two households.

When the children’s father saw the dog he ran over to try to stop it from coming into the yard. In doing so, the dog bit him. His neighbor, who was one of the long standing residents, came running out of his house and rushed to take the dog inside the home. The young father was concerned enough about the bites to go to an urgent care facility for medical treatment.

There was no further contact between the neighbors until the retired couple who owned the dog received a notice of court action. The parties agreed to mediation and I was scheduled to meet with both parties.

One can never predict what can happen during a session. This mediation lasted six long hours and had both parties at times in tears.

The children’s father described his fear at seeing the dog trying to enter his yard. He said he acted out of concern for what could have happened to his young children. Beyond compensation for his injury, he wanted his neighbor to understand what could have happened if the dog had gotten into the yard and attacked his children. He held up his bandaged hand and said, “Look at what your dog did to me. Imagine what it could have done to my children.”

In private caucus, the retired couple shared with me their feelings. They were genuinely distraught when thinking about what could have happened to the children but doubted that scenario as their dog was a gentle one that may have been excited and only bit the man because he forcefully pushed the pet away. Their tears came when sharing how the dog was like a child to them and they were terrified that this lawsuit could result in losing ownership or worse, if the dog were to be put down. Their tears were genuine and intense. At one point they were so upset they needed a break.

I won’t share all the things I needed to do to help these parties reach an agreement, but I will share elements of what was accomplished. For starters, the retired couple agreed to pay any medical bills not covered by insurance. They also agreed to pay the costs for materials to repair and strengthen their fence. The young man agreed to provide the labor to repair and strengthen the fence and not report, nor take any further action, concerning the dog. As the written agreement was being prepared the young couple said “We really should get to know each other now that we’re neighbors.” The retired couple responded “We’d like to invite you to come over this weekend for a dinner!” And what about the dog? The couples agreed to slowly introduce the eldest child to the pet.

I don’t know, of course, the current status of the relationship between the neighbors, but I do know there were no further legal actions taken. And I believe situations like this illustrate the difference mediation can make in neighbor-to-neighbor disputes.