Dreaming of a "Conflict-Free" Holiday Season

I received a call from a friend asking me as a mediator how she could handle family disagreements during the holidays. "My brother-in-law just wants to talk about politics and he always ends up in an argument with somebody in the family," she explained.

As any mediator will say, there are many ways to handle conflict. We usually take into account the importance of the relationship, the importance of the outcome and the amount of time and effort it would take to engage the other party.

Most people agree that it's best to avoid conflict at a holiday related event and set ground rules such as, "Let's agree not to talk politics today" or "This is a confrontation-free zone," which can help deter unpleasant interactions at what is supposed to be a joyful time.

But if uncomfortable conversation rears its ugly head, Celeste Headlee, author of "We Need to Talk," suggests instead of arguing your position and trying to change the other person's mind, spend the time and energy to really understand what they're saying with an open mind. You just might be surprised by what you learn.

Enjoy your family and celebrate your relationships. 

Happy Holidays!