DEALING WITH THE "I’M RIGHT, YOU'RE WRONG” PERSON

Mediators have stories about when a party refuses to take part in a mediation because they “know” they are right. Typically, these are the ones while in court who decline mediation because they’re believe “the judge will agree with me.”

Mediators refer to this as Overconfidence Bias when it’s clear a person’s unwavering belief in their own likelihood of success is greater than objective reality. Even if they agree to negotiate, they usually refuse to compromise as they view doing so as an admission of being wrong. Overconfidence Bias is seen on the playground, in business, and extends to international relations.

Some strategies useful to breakdown the resistance to meaningful negotiations are:

1.) To present “The Worst Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement” (WATNA) and challenge the party to consider the consequences of not negotiating a settlement and then considering the chances of that outcome.

2.) To ask them to take a third party position and critique their position. This often brings shortcomings to light and the possibility they will not prevail.

3.) To suggest they calculate all the potential and future costs of winning compared to the costs of a simple immediate compromise. A $50,000 claim might net significantly less after attorney and court costs, which might be further reduced by any future actions by the other party.

4.) To address the party that says “It’s the principle that’s at stake.” As a mediator my response is to challenge the party with the question, “How much is the principle worth to you in dollars?” Often times that question moves a party from refusing to negotiate to at least begin a conversation.

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Fred Jandt is the author of “How to Survive a Mediation,” available now at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and wherever books are sold.