THE 5% MOST DIFFICULT DISPUTES

Perhaps most of us have at one time or another been in a conflict that just seems overwhelming and nothing you try to resolve it seems to change the dynamics of the issue. And certainly all of us recognize local or national conflicts that just seem to tear communities apart. These long-lasting disagreements that seem to be resistant to good-faith attempts at resolution have been labeled as “intractable.”

Peter Coleman, director of the International Center for Cooperation and Conflict Resolution, estimates that 5% of conflicts are highly destructive and intractable. Coleman and his colleagues offer several guidelines to consider for such challenges. Some that can be used in several situations are:

               > > Intractable conflicts tend to become polarized as “us vs. them” and issues can become simplified by one side or the other with no acceptable middle ground. Generally speaking, dispute resolution specialists work to “complicate” the conflict by “unpacking” it into many contributing subconflicts. With more issues, there may be even one that the parties can agree upon and from there go on to other resolutions.

               >> With intractable conflicts, the parties tend to ignore and not recognize positive information about the other party. It may be helpful to assist the parties to identify and recognize some positives about the other. It doesn’t matter what it is. What is important is to begin seeing the other party as not totally “evil.”

               >> Recognize that the time frame for intractable conflicts may be extended. In simple language, there is a time for conflict resolution and that time can’t be rushed since parties can’t be forced to work together until they are ready to do so. Changes in intractable conflicts may operate on a radically different time frame.

               >> Intractable conflicts may become amenable to resolution after some type of major destabilizing shock. Sometimes it takes a major external event to motivate parties to recognize that it is time to resolve the conflict.

In my experience, the most difficult conflicts can become ones that can be dealt with when the parties are ready. Sometimes that readiness comes from unexpected external events. A very difficult business dispute I mediated was only settled when one of the parties experienced a major illness in her family. As she told me, she now recognized that some things in life were more important that continuing the dispute and it was time to settle.  

As in other human activities, there is a time.